Just a girl

2007-07-06T07:35:00.000-07:00

Wow, I just got scolded by a cranky woman on the phone, whom I have totally never met before. I think she might be around her mid forties bah, cos she sounds like something just crawled up her butt and died.

Honestly, just because I dialled a wrong number.

I was trying to call Fifi but I ended up pressing the number 3 button twice. So I hung up and called again. Ten minutes later, I got a phone call back from that woman. Either she has nothing better to do, or she was menopaus-y. But yah, she gave me an earful.

Woman: Did someone called me from this phone just now?
Me: Huh? May I know who you are? [note the tone of politeness in my voice]
Woman: Someone just called my house phone from this number, is it you?
Me: May I know who you are?
Woman: Who are you?!?!?!?!
Me: I don't know. I don't know you at all, and I'm sure I didn't call you.
Woman: But my caller ID shows this number! And when I picked it up the person hung up!!
Me: Erh...so who are you???
Woman: *shrieks* I don't know! You called me so I am asking you who are you!!!!
Me: Erm....I'm a secondary school student. Maybe I dialled the wrong number just now, sorry. [see? Those CME lessons never went to waste. I apologised ok. i'm an educated person. ((:]
Woman: TSK. *exasperated sigh, followed by the slamming of phone*
Me: *stares at the telephone for 5 seconds, then blew a wet raspberrry at it* BLEERRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHPPPPPFFFFFFTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS

Honestly, London was bombed by terrorists the world is in a climate crisis and all some people bother about is the identity of the person who accidentally dialled the wrong number into their homes.

2007-07-05T06:17:00.000-07:00

Given the fragility of human life, one step is all it takes to end it all. Sometimes I wonder why don't I just take that step. There's nothing worth holding on for. So why am I not letting go? I don't even know what I am holding onto. All I know is that I can't let go of it.

Look,I don't care if he's been to jail or had an aborted child, I don't care if he had alcoholic and anger management issues. He overcame them, and he told me that this is what I should do too. He's been throught shit with his family and all, and from what he've told me he got it worst than me. Said he understood, and that's all I need to hear to be assured. Somehow his words forced me to think about why I'm so scared to admit that I'm afraid.

I need to etch this into my mind forever, and dig it up to remind myself to breathe whenever things get too fucked up.

You're hurting, obviously, so why not turn your pain into some sort of pleasure? Like
art, and writing, and putting everything you've got into what you do (except killing yourself, bad thoughts ). You'd hurt me no matter how far away you were if I ever found out you hurt yourself.
Wanna know why?
Because you were the strongest girl I have ever met, and you gave me friendship. Now, if me, being a weak-minded asshole, can survive, and you can't...my world'll fuck flip and invert

2007-07-04T06:17:00.001-07:00

Am I too sardonic for my own good to like this tale? Whatever it is, I know one thing for sure. I like chaos, destruction, and death.

Is it against the law to be like that?

Anyway, here's the gory tale.

During the war a soldier faithfully wrote his mother every week so she would know he was all right, until one week she didn't get a letter and immediately began to worry. Within a couple of weeks she got a letter from the Army saying that her son had been captured and was being held in a Prisoner-of-War camp, and they assured her that they had no reason to believe the prisoners were being mistreated in any way. A few weeks later the woman finally received another letter from her son, it read:
"Dear Mom, Try not to worry about me, they are treating us well and I'll be released as soon as the war is over. Make sure that little Teddy gets the stamp for his collection. Love you, Joe"

The woman was overjoyed to hear the news, but was confused because she had no idea who "little Teddy" was. She decided to steam the stamp from the envelope and have a look. When she did she saw that written on the back of the stamp were the words:
"They've cut off my legs".

note: during this time, letters sent were often checked by the government before being sent so the people back home didn't find out anything they weren't supposed to.

2007-07-03T05:16:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah baby, George Ryan Ross is so mine. So it's all stated here, though looks and crazy antics might get my attention, it's how much of an intellect you are that gets to me at the end of day.

Besides, guys who write are so hot.

Whitch Rock Star is The Perfect Man for You?

Ryan Ross

You like the lyrcist of the band. The person behind the words. You love the passion inside of him and you find it beautiful

his Color: Blue

The Sexiest thing about him probably is: How crazy he is

The Worst thing about him probably is: He doesn't tell you anything of what's going on

Love Song:"Sexy Love" Ne-ya

When they first meet him your parent/gurdian would probably say: "Are you sure it's a guy"

He is: The Writer
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2007-07-03T04:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess everyone's fed up.

I haven't been much fun to be around lately, sorry about that. And if I did hurt anyone's feeling or pissed them off when I'm in my moody phase, it was unintentional.

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today.
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left

I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head

It's like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me
Right underneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me
Points out all my mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but

Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
(And watches everything)

So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too
Right inside your skin

The sun goes down I feel the light betray me

2007-07-02T03:35:00.000-07:00

Sanctuary:any place of refuge; asylum

My sanctuary is not a physical place. It is books, poetry, and writing. Growing up in a rough environment, I had learnt from young how to block out the stuff I don't want to hear and escape into the fantasy world. Which is why I love vampire stories and Harry Potter so much. Whenever I am troubled, sad, or just want to hide away. I read a book or I pen down my feelings.

But somehow along the line, I lost that serenity and calmness I had as a child when faced with shitty situations. Maybe I got fed up of being unseen and unheard, feelings not considered. Or maybe I got stupid, but all I know is I have to shout out, I have to draw some attention to myself so that the adults would stop being so fucking selfish.

It all backfired somehow. The adults are all blind. It's ironic that they tell you time and again how much they love you, but they're blind, blind to the hurt that has been inflicted on you, not even when that angry red scars are glaring at them straight in the face.

So, if you consider yourself as my friend, don't stare, don't point, don't ask.

2007-06-29T02:16:00.000-07:00

Don't even ask. I fucked up big time.

But anyway, what's over is over. I will just have to work doubly hard for the rest of my subjects. I'm really praying that I will at least get a B3 for my O level chinese, then I won't have to retake it anymore.

On a happier note, Harry Potter season is officially open!!!! Channel 5 is showing the previous movies again and then the new movie is coming out soon plus the last installment of the book!!! Shall get ready for it, *takes out nerd glasses and magic wand*

2007-06-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

So we got our class t-shirts and class photos, yeah!!!!

But some people need to grow a brain, seriously. People bother to put in time and effort to come up with a decent and quite creative design, and instead of appreciating their actions, you go and critisise the hell out of them.

If you think you can do a better job, go ahead. Prove it with your actions instead of cutting words. Words don't get you no shit credit at all, except perhaps the resent of others. Savvy?

On a happier note, I enjoy making people look like a fool. Starting with Jessica's birthday present, which is a panda G-string by the way, and she so totally freaked when she opened it. Followed by sarah's ridiculous picture, courtesy of me and cindy, which sent us into laughing fits, but apparently not to the amusement of sarah. She deleted the picture in the end, shrewdly, may I add. Boo shucks to you, spoilsport. ((:

I don't trust myself to comment on the new chemistry teacher. So thou shalt zip thy mouth.

But anyway, I'm lucky that there is someone teaching me what elements are present in my toilet bowl cleaning detergent.

2007-06-26T05:50:00.000-07:00

Watch this video. Really touching, and total awesome-ness I tell you.

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lieIs made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

I never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
and the clothes you left they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

We were made for eachother
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah yeah
All I ever wanted was for you
To know everything I do
I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you
I miss you.

2007-06-25T05:22:00.000-07:00

My sister got back her report card today.

And my parents didn't even realise, cos' her report card is damn cartoon one, and it looks more like a colouring book anyway. So anyway, my father thought it really was some colouring book so he let her scribble all over the book. Lalalalalalalalallalala~

So imagine their surprise and horror when Briana told them that it was Jesey's report card. WHEE~!

So now my parents are bickering over who's gonna tell this piece of news to her teacher tomorrow. My mother suggested that they ask the teacher for a new report card, and my dad says he's never gonna send my sister to school again nor go near the school. And yeah, both of them are now drawing lots to see who's gonna send Jesey plus her vandalised report card to school tomorrow. They would have gladly shoved me there with my irritating lil' sister, but I rolled my eyes and told them I got school. So yeah.

And what the fuck is up with little kids using the comp anyway? All thanks to Briana, everytime I switch on the computer, my sister is hovering beside me, breathing down my neck, asking me "can I use the comp?" every 5 seconds.

I am THIS close to wringing her fat little neck. Seriously. And as I type this, she's beside me, shouting along to Maroon 5's This Love in my ear. So I shall go off now, and get some therapy.

2007-06-22T23:31:00.000-07:00

This is the music video for Clothes Off by Gym Class Heroes. Look out for Pete in his Elvis get up, and also, the cuddly, cute, and furry dancing animals which turns out to be uhm, Panic! At the Disco. Wow, the boys sure can dance, but they need their razors and barbers ASAP.

2007-06-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

I don't remember being so irritating when I was younger.

What's up with the little kids nowadays? They talk back to you, spit in your face, whack you, trush their smelly feet in your face,demolish your computer, and still expects you to give in to whatever shit they request.

God forbid, if I dared to do that last time, my guardian would whoop my ass inside out.

These cheeky little monkeys need a good smack in the head if you asked me. Kids are too spoilt nowadays. And a damn rowdy bunch I tell you. I just got assualted by a 7 year old, imagine that. And she dare to spit in my face.

Spit in the face of Sophie Hong.

It took me all of my self control not to wring her skinny neck. And I just stood there, letting her demostrate her flying kick on me without a protest except a lame "OY!!".

But that's all I dared to do.

And shit ass it, this little girl has now influenced my sister, due to her coming over to my house often to play with my sister, and dammit, my sister just let this little girl whack me without biting her hand. My goodness. And now my sister has learnt how to shout at me, whining whenever I don't comply to her wishes.

I feel so un-dignified.

T_T

I think I just got bullied by a 7 year old. How absolutely pathetic.

If it was some teenager my age who was irritating me, I'd shout FUCK OFF at that person and perhaps spew more vulgarities to vent my anger and frustration, but c'mon, as screwed up as I am, I don't have to heart to ask a 7 year old to fuck off.

But then again, it's because I'm afraid that her mum will come after me. And while I'm typing this post, my sister is clicking my mouse here there and everywhere.

Gosh, I want to whoop her ass bad.

2007-06-22T00:12:00.000-07:00

I think that's a really cool drawing of Sirius Black and Severus Snape in their teens, when they were still schooling at Hogwarts.

Shit, what the hell am I doing?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I got a ton of holiday homework, all untouched. I can just imagine the wrath of my school teachers already. Dammit, what kind of june hols is this?!?!??! I haven't even got started on my resting and emptying of brain yet!!! And you tell me school is starting soon, in a few days in fact!!! There isn't enough dust on my schoolbooks yet!!! HOW CAN SCHOOL START SO SOON?!?!?!?!?

Excuse me while I go ram my head against the wall.

2007-06-20T00:18:00.000-07:00

This is just freaking funny.

Apparently during an autograph session, a group of girls went up to James and Oliver Phelps, saying that there are a ton of fanfic online featuring them both involving in twincest. They didn't know what twincest means, so the girl told them awkwardly that it means incest, you know, improper relationship between siblings, and twincest is, well, improper feelings between twins. So they find it very offensive, and they made the signs, pleading the Phelps twins to hold them up for a picture. the twins merrily agreed, and TA DAH, the rest is history.

But this picture is just plain hilarious. And they could have snapped a photo of their reaction when the girl defined twincest for them. LOL.

But still, we love Fred and George Weasley. ((: At least I do, they're both so cute and funny. Can't wait for the last book to be out, and the fifth movie to show in cinemas!!! *squeals*

I wonder how Fred and George will end up in the last book....I hope J.K. Rowling doesn't kill them off, they're really cute characters and they often add comic relief to the darker parts of the story. But one thing for sure, they'll be in the Order of the Pheonix cos' they're of age now.

2007-06-19T00:14:00.000-07:00

There you go. The take over the break's over by Fall Out Boy. Pete's hair just looks sauve, while Patrick looks hilarious with the costumes. The cutest, however, is Hemmingway, Pete's dog.

2007-06-18T23:48:00.000-07:00

I wanna watch this movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jess, if you happened to be reading this, try to get the DVD from indo ok?? Thank you. ((:

Stars Oscar winners, Academy award nominees, and of course, Rupert Grint, more commonly known as Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter series. Just look at him holding the Bible. So angelic!!! *squeals*

And of course, I'm a sucker for that smile. ((:

But anyway, this movie is about this teenage guy [Rupert Grint, DUH] who is raised in a strict "Christian" way. He has a vicar for a father and a damn strict mother who feels that it is her duty to protect him from the dangers of the outside world. So he's kind of a freak at school and stuff, naturally. There's this scene from the movie where he wrote and poem for his crush and read it to her, damn hilarious. But anyway, back to the story. The holidays came and he found a job being an "escort" for this old theatre actress, driving her around and stuff while she travels around doing plays. [i think.] She's coarse, overly dramatic and very flamboyant, while he is a conservative Christian boy. They form an unlikely friendship along the trip, and he saw more of the world during this journey, including girls, alchohol, and late night fun.

Seems like a really nice movie.....I WANT I WANT!!!!!! But anyway, here's the trailer.

T_T I want to watch...

2007-06-18T05:06:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh. How can I forgot it was father's day?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

*in the hong family's living room, where the small family of four were watching the news*

Mum: Eh, *points to a piece of news on tv on some event thingy* today father's day arh?
Me: *sheepish and shocked* ISSIT?!?!?!? *falls out of chair*
Jesey: *slurps on her milk*
Me: *turns to father* PA!!!! Today father's day arh? *wide eyed innocence*
Father: hur hur hur hur

But anyway....happy father's day dad. And you know most of my genetic make-up are from you, from looks down to personality. Though we have our shouting matches over each other's sloppy ways [you not liking my messy room, me against you not clearing up your own plates after a meal, etc etc], you know I could never asked for a better father.

Once upon a time I was a foolish girl and I wished bitterly that you were more like Uncle xxx, and I felt that you just weren't "cool" enough. I even wished that I had a different father. But the past few years, I find myself beginning to appreciate this tall crap of a blur guy, who feel no need to be a control freak over his eldest daughter, never pressurizing me with tuition, never telling me to stay away from the tv, and even occasionally catch a movie with me, no matter how brainless you might find it [I know I used to like stupid chick flicks, but my taste has improved, ie harry potter and POTC].

Really, I could not have asked for a better father, who never gave me alot of money, but that's ok, because you gave me freedom and taught me to live life to the fullest. You desire not straight A1's but rather for me to explore the world, and not making decisions for me but rather, teaching me all that you know.

Now, can you get Jesey away from me? She's been bugging me for the whole day, and it's kinda irritating to be stuck at home with an over talkative four year old for the whole of the june hols.

2007-06-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

My dad says I spend too much time plugged into my MP3. I told him that I'm learning english.

And it's true. I'm not listening to some repetitive, bubble-gum pop or some foul mouthed rapper cussing away to make up for substance in the lyrics. I'm listening to heart wrenching, thought provoking rock songs. Emo songs too. So Teo Say Yong, I don't care what you say about me. I love my music, and at the end of the day I'm gonna have a higher grade for O level english. *smiles politely* And who knows? I might even kick your miserable bastard-y ass in your L1R5 aggregate. HA. Think twice before shouting at me on the bus again, accusing me of something that I so totally did not do.

So being the geek that I am, I'm gonna post some of the words I've learnt from rock songs up here. [the words are in bold, stupid]

~I think I'm drowning,asphyxiated.
to cause to die or lose consciousness by impairing normal breathing, as by gas or other noxious agents; choke; suffocate; smother.

~I'll be stuck fixated on one star
To focus one's eyes or attention on

~They say your head can be a prison, and these are just conjugal visits
of, pertaining to, or characteristic of marriage

~I'm not a shoulder to cry on, but I digress
to deviate or wander away from the main topic or purpose in speaking or writing; depart from the principal line of argument, plot, study, etc.

~And the lies I weave are oh so intricate
complex; complicated; hard to understand

~That's when you stu-stu-stutter something profound
of deep meaning; of great and broadly inclusive significance

~When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes
to give emphasis or prominence to

~I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
acting in a stealthy way

~What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
any imitation or copy so distorted or inferior as to be ludicrous.

Ok, I shall stop here. I'm afraid your puny brains can't take it. ((: Naw, just kidding. ((:

2007-06-13T01:06:00.000-07:00

This guy could be Carlise Cullen. ((: Right fy?

I don't feel like doing F&N. Totally irresponsible of me, but what the heck, I'm bumming around, enjoying life....

So these few days have been rather uneventful. I'm still trying to see how long I can stay cooped up in my house without going insane. I must say I'm doing quite a good job, and I haven't stepped out of my house for more than an hour or so. Not during the day that is. I'm avoiding sunlight, thank you very much.

Oh, and I took the "forbidden" path home from my aunt's stall. To go to my house form Dunman food centre, there are two paths to follow. Firstly, the well lit path where you have to pass by the president's house. I don't like that path because there are lots of cockroaches around that area, especially flying ones. And the security guard always stares at me as I walked past, like I'm some assasin hired to kill the president, and plus, the irritating dogs owned by those rich people always spring out from nowhere to scare the hell out of me.

And the other path would be the unlit path, though they installed lights there, but somehow they're always off. It's quiet deserted, and probably favoured by sex mianics, drug abusers, and robbers. Or the occasional indonesia maid running away. My parents said they once saw two guys sniffing glue down there, so they forbid me to walk that path. They rather I encounter flying cockroaches.

So anyway, I was going home alone, and I was bored, so I thought why not walk that path? I've never seen a drug addict before so I thought it'd be fun. And anyway if they tried to attack me or whatever, I can always karate chop them with the moves I learnt from Jackie Chan movies.

So being pretty smug with myself, I walked down the path, and.....

...........................................

............................

..................

I emerged from the other end of the path without a scratch on me. No drug addicts, no rapists, and no vampires. Not even a werewolf. How disappointing.

Never mind. I will try to sneak out to the path there late at night again. Then maybe I'll see a vampire. ((:

2007-06-11T01:04:00.000-07:00

I'm reading Vampire Knight manga scans online now. Now I know why I was so in love with jap manga in primary school. They are absolutely fabulous....and the guys are always so hot. ((:

I love Zero's tattoo and piercings!!! GAHHS.

For those who want to read manga scans, go to www.onemanga.com ((:

2007-06-09T04:34:00.000-07:00

Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep
Inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on...
They never die
That's how you
And I
Will be

Edward's lullaby. ((:

His soothing velvet voice sings out as his pale hands danced across the ivory keys.

2007-06-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

Gothic Barbie. Rwar.

And no, I didn't do that to my sister's barbie doll. She did it herself.

I'm so damn proud of her. *sniffles*

So anyway, I've come to realise that the whole of my family are all tanned and dark skinned. I'm the only one who's so pale and pasty. I'm a freak, OMG!!!!!!!! I asked my dad, and he's like....*shrugs* dunno.....

So anyway, back to the book I'm so obsessed about right now. I think I found the guy who could be Jacob Black, but he's kinda old and don't look young. But whatever, you get the drift. You know, muscle-ly, long hair, wolf face [he's a werewolve] , yada yada yada.

But if they're really gonna make a movie, it's gonna be tough. The book describes the vampires as perfect looking, graceful, and mersmizing. Especially Edward. He's gonna be a headache to cast cos he's like, perfect. He's very howchamightpuit just very handsome, like he stepped out of a piece of Renaissance art. People who read the book are gonna have different versions of Edward in their head, and when he's finally casted, people are either gonna love or hate him. Though in my opinion, there are gonna be more people hating him than loving him because.....well, he's playing EDWARD. THE AMAZINGLY AND STUNNINGLY DAZZLING EDWARD.

So there. I've blogged abit too much. I'd like to go back to writing my own fiction, thankyouberrymwuach.

2007-06-08T04:11:00.000-07:00

OH. MY. FREAKING. GOODNESS.

What do you take me for? A retard? You don't have to repeat your instructions to me FOUR bloody times in less than ten minutes you know. Once is enough to get the message across in my head.

There's just so many times I can answer "yes, I will mum" to the same freaking set of instrcutions before losing it. Honestly - I was this close to hurling myself out of the open window just now.

Geez.

On a slightly happier note, I finished reading New Moon in less than five hours!! Yay me!! And it's like, 563 pages long. I feel so sorry for Jacob though. You can see that he really likes Bella. And Edward is soooooooooo cute!!!! He's willing to end his life [ok, not life since he's a vampire but you know what I mean] just because he though Bella was dead and there was no reason for him to stay anymore. Can I just hear you say awwwwww........

One thing that stood out to me is when Aro tried to get Jane to exercise her power on Bella [to test if Bella was immune to all vampiric powers], Edward was so protective for her that he threw himself in front of Bella to take the pain instead [Jane's power is the capability to cause extreme physical pain, kinda like the Crucio charm in Harry Potter]. And he took it all without a sound.

So cool eh?

2007-06-07T04:33:00.000-07:00

To Agent 0706 [the one standing in the middlewith the reflective braces, yes YOU] :

I didn't forget ok. And we were supposed to have a super secret agent meeting at your house all through last night but you have to go away on a secret agent mission. [ahems ahems]

Ok, now that's out of the way......

Can I just say that my life is drastically improved by a thing called instant food??? I love the genius who thought of it.

And......Fifi passed me this book called Twilight which is about this girl who met a vampire, who seems to hate her alot at first but then they fell in love and then she was hunted down by another vampire [a tracker] and then she was saved from the clutches of death by her vampire sweetheart.

I love the author, I've been to her website, and she seems like a totally cool person.

But I love Edward Cullen even more. ((: Just imagine, this tall, strong, pale and skinny guy who's like, super clever and rich. Just check out his flashy car.

And he drives at a hundred miles per hour. Like, whoot baby!!! There's no specific images of him, but the author had described him as perfect as a Botecelli angel [did I get that right?] but anyway, you know, that's another way of saying that he's really handsome. And the image of Edward in the author's mind is this.

Ok, I know he looks kinda wierd like that, but he's supposed to be a 19th century gentlemen. Think of a waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay polite gentlemenly guy wearing designer jeans and an Armani shirt, kind of hard to because all the guys now are conceited pigs, but just try to use your imagination ok?

I heard that talk about a movie is in the works, so yeah, I'm gonna look forward to it. ((: And some fans of the book actually suggested that they get Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance to play the role of Edward, and if they really do it [highly unlikely], it would so totally rock ass!!!

But I was thinking of Ryan Ross, seriously. Or maybe Stuart Townsend, since he's so good as the vampire Lestat in Queen of the Damned. But I'd choose Ryan, cos' Stuart doesn't look 17.

See? total angel, with a face like that.

Total drool worthy material. And he's skinny. And pale. And he uses bombastic vocabulary like Edward.

Imagine the fangs in that mouth, just imagine. And he pretty much dazzles.

Pretty much that. I'd blog more about this new vampire obssesion, ok, fine I admit I've been obssesed with vampires since like, forever, so this new.....EDWARD CULLEN obssesion then. ((:

Fifi, I'm waiting for the second book!!!!! And the third book's that's coming out on August!!

And I promise I'll find people who should play Jacob. ((: You get the amazingly stand-offish, conceited and arrogant vampire Edward, then you get the warm, affable, and friendly werewolve Jacob. And Jacob kinda likes Bella too, you know, Edward's girl. Can't wait for the fight to start. ((:

2007-06-06T00:24:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Pete Wentz!!!!!

Now that's out of the way, lemme just complain about school. They made us go back during the extremely short hols, which is cruel enough while I listen to my other friends making plans to go out and those pals over at the US who are making full use of the summer to get hooked.

And secondly, those lessons are kinda boring and makes me feel very sleepy. Thanks alot. If I know an insomniac [like pete wentz], I'd recommend him to attend one of theses lessons. Instant results guarenteed.

I feel my bed calling me, the bastard. I'm in love with my bed cos everytime I'm away from it I think of it, and everytime I see it I'll spend quality time with it no matter how busy I am.

Okok, enough chattering, it's time to rock with My Chemical Romance. This one's called "Teenagers", one of my fave singles off their album and now finally they shot the video!! And look out for a new fall out boy video for "The takeover, the break's over".

2007-06-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

I fucking give up.

I really fucking give up.

Living with you is like living in a minefield. I don't know when you'll blow. I live in fear everday, though I may seem bright and cheery on the outside.

Why am I putting up with this?

I have enough of this crap. Even when I was twelve years old you bear to throw accusations at me. Telling dad that I was a liar and feigning innocence just to get sympathy. Because I'm an abandoned child, even my real mother has forsaken me, that's why my feelings don't matter, is that what you were thinking?

Let me tell you this - You wait till I am of consenting age. Then I will get myself a scholarship overseas to get me out of this miserable hellhole. I will be alone, but it beats the present company I am having,

No, I don't habour ill thoughts. I even deluded myself thinking that such a simple thing like a happy family can happen to a forsaken child like me. I was wrong, I was very wrong. Even prayers don't seem to be working anymore.

Don't blame me for doing it when the time comes. Or when I'm driven till my limit. Don't blame me for leaving, don't blame me for running away, because you made it so. Don't you ever dare to say that I've never fulfilled my duty as a stepdaughter, I've done the household chores, bought the mother's day flowers [feeling fake as I did so], taking the initiative to look after sister when you're sick, and even hanging out doing "daughter-mother" things. I've done everything that is asked of and I have a free conscience.

And last of all, I don't take my anger out on others when things are not going right for me. I don't fucking flare up everytime I face an obstacle life throws me. I've been anything but an angsty, rebellious teenage girl I was supposed to be. In case you haven't realised, the fights all started with you kicking up a big fuss, I'm never the one to start the fight.

I've given up on my agressive personality ever since you came into my life. I've been most patient with you than I've been with anybody else.

So why can't you fucking understand for once?

You know life sucks when you can't get your hands on anything to overdose on.

2007-06-04T05:16:00.001-07:00

I'm so fucking fed up with myself and everyone around me. I'm feeling fucking angry at myself. I just can't seem to stay happy for long, can I? I have to go screw everything up.

Sophie Hong, you're hopeless and you know it. You make people tense everytime you walk into a room. It's fine if you screw yourself ten times over, but stop affecting the others already. You are an incredibly selfish bitch and you should just do the world a favour and go die.

Shut the hell up my evil schizoprenic twin.

Maybe I should be speaking LOUDER, going straight to the point to make myself CLEARER, or maybe I should just go for an operation that would fix this bloody mouth of mine. Dammit, everthing that comes out of it is misunderstood and thrown back at me. Like daggers.

But gosh, I'd do the household chores, yes I would. If that is what's gonna keep us together and prevent us from falling apart then yes, I'd even hurl myself off the window just to keep everyone going.

Our relationship is just so fragile, it can sanp ay moment. And we're both like tightrope walkers, hanging onto our lives by a thread. Even if you really detest me so or find me irksome, think about him at least, will you? Think about the man we both love, the man whom we're doing all this for.

I know you're not feeling well but neither am I in the best of spirits. A hundred and one things I can hold against you for but I didn't, and I can choose to be a spoiled brat and throw frightful tantrums - go missing for a few days, stepping onto that forbidden road and disappearing into the dark night - but I didn't.

I'm trying my best, so why can't you do the same too? This is no easier for me than it was for you. Both of us are sinking on the same boat, so let's just give each other due respect here.

I did answer when you called. I did. I did agree to doing it, and bearing no grudges. In fact, I've alread told myself that I would do it tonight even before you told me too. Perhaps if you just be patient and waited awhile, maybe this woudn't have happened, and I wouldn't be contemplating about doing what is wrong again.

Wrong. I can see my evil schizoprenic twin laughing at me in jest already. What is right and what is wrong, who can ever define it? There is only but a thin line seperating them both, and only very few can ever see that line clearly.

I am plunging down a road of self destruction at full speed. If only you heard me saying "Yes mum..." five minutes ago...

2007-06-03T01:14:00.000-07:00

Did anyone catch Dirty Dancing 2 on TV last night?

Well, anyway, the guy is cute. He goes by the name of Diego Luna or something. And his face is so....howmightchaputit......boyish. Babyface. Yeah whatever. And he can dance!! O_o

I can hear you guys going awwww.......already. Be caregul not to drool over your keyboard, ladies.

He's some mexico actor and he also starred in this movie directed by this mexican director who also directed Harry Potter 3, and I found one of the stills of the movies, which is....

Ta dah!!!!

Totally X-rated can. I think I read somewhere that because of this film the producers of Harry Potter decided to make Alfonso [the mexican director] the director for HP3, cos that's when you get all the sexual tension flying around and all but now that I saw this I was like....erm...ok whatever you say...

But it's supposed to be a good film [so I heard]. Aiyah, just to make it clear I'm not belittling or snubbing the director or the actor so just yeah...bit of background info...

I know most of you haven't watched Dirty Dancing yet, I I found some dance scenes on youtube!! ((: Just for you guys. ((:

Here you go, so thank me. ((:

2007-06-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
___________________________________________________________________

Just let me clarify that coursework is a bitch. I have totally no enthusiasm in it though it's supposed to take up like, 60% of my o levels, so people, stop asking or I swear I'll blow. And I got kinda irritated by Erwani on that day at the lab. OK, more things I need to clarify.

I think sarah or someone asked me to check whether there were any paper at the printer or something, since I was up from my seat, and I think Erwani was trying to print something and she asked me if I was printing anything. And somebody else was talking to me at that time, I DID reply erwani before turning away to talk to someone else.

OK, so maybe it's my fault that I did not maintain any eye contact or acknowledge her in anyway, it was kinda rude of me to just shake my head and mumble a "no", but I've never been miss congeniality either.

But somehow I got pissed when she said something irritably in malay to her friend, and asked her friend to ask me again whether I was printing anything. I'm not deaf, and I already did reply to your question, I don't like repeating myself.

So what I'm trying to say is, when you're pissed with me, say it straight to my face, make sure that I understand clearly and perfectly the reason why you're pissed with me and that you're pissed with me.

Ok, that was confusing. Bottomline, I give up. I can't make everyone happy. I am totally hopeless at human relationships. So sue me.
___________________________________________________________________

On a happier note, guess what I found in my inbox today??

Sent:Thu May 31 23:12:43 2007

omg you cant lose intrest your story is starting to become great please dont finish it so soon i mean deon likes her and jeff likes her and then deon lets her take his blood...was it a trap or was it an accident that his dad walked in? i wannna know please please dont stop!!!!!

This is enough to send me to spasms of euphoria. I was worried that my ideas were not presented clearly enough, and that the intricate web of chummachakaks I was about to weave is how should I put it.....misunderstood?

So anyway, doesn't take much to please me. Sophie Hong is a simple girl. ((:

Meanwhile, I'll continue writing and hoping that my readers and ratings will push me up to the most popular and highest rated list!!! ((:

Ok, ignore this post if it is confusing to the point of frustration. Don't try to figure anything out, you'll only give yourself a migraine.

2007-05-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

I knew it that Pete Wentz is bad influence.First Brendon got this fugly tattoo that made him look like an armadillo.

And I remember saying in an old post that Ryan had better not get himself inked too. And now guess what?!?!?!?

yeah, he got himself a tattoo too. T_T

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE SWEET BOYS OF YESTERYEAR?!?!?!?!?

Parents, better keep Pete Wentz away from your kids.

On a lighter note....

I just finished part 12 of my story!!! Yay me!!! ((:

But I'm losing interest in it already. Huh, that's me. Always starting something but never stopping what I've begun. I'm thinking of writing another story already, because I got like, a ton of ideas in my head buzzing around like those irritating mosquitoes on a warm night.

F&N tomorrow at eight thirty all the way to four thirty!!! WHOOHOO!!! Really looking forward to it!!!

NOT

And you know you really have no social life when even your parent are paying you to get out of the house. My dad is complaining that I spend too much time in front of the computer [he thinks I'm surfing porn, but I tell him that I can't surf porn online cos the connection's sucky, and I don't have mozilla firefox.]. Well, hello hello, I'm indulging in this fantasy world of my own when I control what happens. That means I'm writing a story, dumbo.

I guess in a way Miss Mastura is right. Literature students are wierd creatures who don't go straight to the point. Now I know why I'm so missunderstood sometimes. Gahhs.

I need to go clean my room now. It's starting to smell like mouldy cheese. One wonders how I manage to sleep in that pig sty [my father's words] and honestly speaking, I wonder too.

I amaze myself sometimes. Huh, self entertainment. I'm autistic, like, whatever.

2007-05-30T07:27:00.000-07:00

Here am I again, wasting away in front of the computer, doing nothing in particular. I'm sure I'd be holed up here in my house for the whole of this June holidays, yeah, I have no life, so sue me.

So far nothing has tempted me to crawl out from under my blankets, except for school [miserable shit] and a trip to the library to return my long overdue books.

I'm feeling bored already...somebody pass me that pack of cocaine please.

Nothing much to blog about, the highlight of the day being the blackout the whole block I was living in experienced just now. Wowee.

2007-05-29T23:27:00.000-07:00

I live in singapuraAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not blogging much lately, cos I'm chionging my story, trying to finish it by the end of the jun hols. And I need to clean my room, it's starting to smell funny.

2007-05-28T00:31:00.000-07:00

I wash my hands off you, really. Take it that we've never been friends at all. I give up. Go screw yourself ten times over, I don't care anymore.

And all those times I thought that there's someone better underneath, there's someone who's willing to give it all she's got.

Seems like you've dashed all hopes and expectations, thank you for breaking my heart.

2007-05-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

I had some chilli dip thing for lunch, and I had no idea how it got into my eye, its positively stinging now.

Anyways, had lunch with my dad, and this is how the conversation goes.

Me: *comes out from toilet*
Dad: Eh, why are you dripping wet? Didn't you bring a towel in with you when you shower?
Me: Erh....I was not showering.
Dad: Then why are you wet?
Me: Erh...I felt kinda warm so I splashed some water on myself. *shrugs*
Dad: Wah, liddat also can. More like you just aim the showerhead at yourself and turn on the tap right?
Me: Erh...yah. I had my o level chinese today leh.
Dad: Huh? Today arh? So fast? Then how?
Me: Die lah. My batteries went flat on me in the first paper.
Dad: *incredulous* And you never had the sense to bring some extra batteries???
Me: I heard that stupidity is hereditary, dad. Wonder from whom I got it from.
Dad: TSK.

So anyway. I love my pops. ((: All 180cm of him.

2007-05-27T00:33:00.001-07:00

The Click Five's not dead. Not yet at least. The power pop band that gave us old school rock/pop in the year 2005 is back, minus their lead singer, Eric Dill.

Ah well, he's replaced by somebody else, but I think I still prefer Eric and his squeaky lean vocals. Not to mention his megawatt smile.

But anyway, they are releasing an albulm again this June or July. Their new single, Jenny, is already out. So yeah, give them a listen.

I think I might be crazy enough to watch Pirates of the Caribbean again. It's just so nice, the computer effects and all, not to mention the ever funky captain Jack Sparrow. He's hilarious.

And I watched finished Deathnote 2 and Queen of the Damned on youtube!!! Yay me!! ((:

2007-05-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

Forsaken

I'm over it
You see I'm falling in the vast abyss
Clouded by memories of the past
At last, I see

I hear it fading
I can't speak it
Or else you will dig my grave
We fear them finding
Always whining
Take my hand now
Be alive

You see I cannot be forsaken
Because I'm not the only one
We walk amongst you
Feeding, raping
Must we hide from everyone

I'm over it
Why can't we be together
Erase it
Sleeping so long
Taking up the mass
At last, I see

My fear is fading
I can't speak it
Or else you will dig my grave
You fear them finding
Always winding
Take my hand now
Be alive

You see I cannot be forsaken
Because I'm not the only one
We walk amongst you
Feeding, raping
Must we hide from everyone

You see I cannot be forsaken
Because I'm not the only one
We walk amongst you
Feeding, raping
Must we hide from everyone

2007-05-24T05:05:00.000-07:00

I am feeling damn EMO right now so don't come near me or I swear I'll bite your head off. I MEAN IT.

And yes, I can be a bitch sometimes, so live with it. But in case you are wondering, YES, I am feeling guilty, which is why I didn't catch the movie in the end. Though I really needed it to escape from this harsh reality, I still went home to face the sorry sight that is my sister, crying and screaming her lungs out while her temperature shoots sky high.

The fucking miserable thing is, I can do no shit about it.

Maybe it's not true, but I don't think anyone will understand this love-hate relationship I am having with my sister. I hate it that she got more affection, and more attention than I got when I was her age. I grew up a lonely and reclusive person, and I got SHIT for being different. And it's not fair that she grows up normal with a happy family when all I remebered from my childhood was bitchy guardians, caning sessions, and pounding on the front gate screaming at my guardian to let me in when she found it amusing to throw a 6 year old girl out of the house for a couple of hours for punishment.

But fuck it, how can I resist the charms of this little bundle of joy who resembles me so much?

Brandon Dawson-Kevin LaRocque is not online. Shit it. No one to rant to, so I resorted to whining down here on my blog. Ignore me. I'm a piece of miserable work. I should be happy right?!?!?!? I got 5 fucking A's on my report card!!! I just got some money from my dad as a reward!! I should be jumping around right now!!!

So why am I not? I'm wierd.

2007-05-23T05:23:00.000-07:00

Did I mention before that Pete and Ryan are my favourite lyricists? Oh yeah, I think I did. But never mind, I say it once and I'll say it again. Their lyrics are what gets my through the day in the end. *loves*

I'm like, socially ettiquette-d. ((:

Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen, Sophie Hong had learnt table manners.

Etiquette course was kinda fun today, and I honestly can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. So yeah.

And I'm getting too lazy to blog, so there.

PS: I'm learning how to do my own blogskin thingamee!! ((: Now finally I can make the blogskins that I really want, featuring my fave bands and a ton of emo pics!!!! *squeals*

2007-05-21T22:21:00.000-07:00

Well there you go. The man that I've been talking about. The vampire Lestat played by Stuart Townsend. He's also Dorian Grey in League of the Extraordinary Gentlemen. And yes, I do agree with many die-hard Vampire Chronicles fans that he is, indeed, a much better Lestat than Tom Cruise ever was or ever will be.

I'm bumming around at home, doing nothing and just enjoying this gloomy weather. You know, lazing around on my bed listening to the squeal of car tires on the wet asphalt road, feeling the wind toying around with my hair, smelling the air after which the raindrops had cleansed....

Just an update, I'm still alive.

2007-05-21T07:22:00.001-07:00

I know my friends are going to nag at me again for not going to the doctor's, but seriously, I don't think I want to know what kind of disease I've contracted.

I don't know, and I don't want to know. I'm awake at ten plus in front of my computer, typing this, while my parents are whisking my sister off to KK hospital. And I'm really scared, not because I'm all alone in a darkened space where silence is my only companion,or because there are monsters hiding under my bed...but rather...

I don't know. I don't want to think about anything right now. Somebody please save me from myself.

And pardon me if I seem like an imbecile in school tomorrow.

Whoa

2007-05-20T00:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, I read about the scene in Theatres de Vampires [or something like that] in the book, Interview with a Vampire, and I also know that they kinda raped a girl onstage and then suck her dry after that, but I have no idea that they played out the full scene in all its gory details as well in the movie!!!!

Can you imagine? Oh my goodness, this girl was stripped in front of like, alot of people! Whatever happened to, oh geez. None of it was censored. You can see her full body clearly. THE FULL BODY. OMG. And Kristen Dunst was in the scene as well, and she was only 11 then!! Oh my gosh! An 11 year old girl with a sweet, pure and innocent mind having to watch an older girl being stripped down to absolutely nothing by Antonio Bar something something something and then being swarmed by a few dozen black hooded figures. Heebie jeebies. Brr.

And you know, that Antonio guy, is actually the voice behind the sweet lil' puss in boots from Shrek. Wow.

But then again, in Interview with a Vampire, the character Kristen Dunst was playing is like, having an incest fling with her 'father'. Cos' Brad Pitt is the vampire who sucked her, Tom Cruise is the vampire who exchanged blood with her, so in a sense they are the ones who made her, they are her fathers, and what did she do to them? Why, killed one and went into a relationship with another.

Its so messed up.

But I rather like Queen of the Damned, although the plot is not exactly the same as the plot in the book, its still quite good. Stuart Townsend makes a rather good Lestat, exactly who I imagined him to be. A sly, cunning, and charming vampire who in all his glory can seem so vulnerable as well. And in case you guys are wondering who Stuart is, well, he plays Dorian Grey in the League of the Extraordinary Gentlemen, you know, the Victorian gentleman who couldn't die. And yeah, he betrayed the League.

Oh geez. I still have that horrifying scene in my head.

Maybe I should just stop watching so many vampire movies or something. But they are just so addictive. Hmm....

2007-05-18T23:19:00.000-07:00

Hey all. Check this out. I just started reading the Vampire Chronicles series by Ann Rice, and I learnt that besides Queen of the Damned, they've also made a movie for Interview With A Vampire, starring Tom Cruise as the sly Lestat, Brad Pitt as the introspective Louis, and Kristen Dunst as the eternal child Claudia. Like ew, Kristen Dunst? I thought Claudia was supposed to be a real huanting beauty!! And of course, the angelic Armand whom I've fell in love with, who is played by Antonio Barr----something. Yeah. So watch this trailer. ((:

Lalalala

2007-05-18T04:38:00.000-07:00

Do us all a favour. Go die choking on some dick, you filthy little slutty whore. I know you're jealous, but seriously, there's no need to get so childishly underhand. You amuse me with you antics, really. If you dare to let the words out of your mouth why don't you say them in front of me? Luckily for me I've got loyal friends who got my back covered. You know what? This rant is all I'm doing to express my anger towards you. Cos' a yellow streaked coward is not worth the time and effort. If you really want to start a catfight with me, go polish up on your vocabulary and earn some freaking respect among the student population in school. The elites only fight with the elites. An amateur seeking the attention of an elite is just plain freaking stupid and ridiculous. And for the elite to take any action is just plain pointless, because we all know what the final score will be, won't we?

If you think you can be better than me in any way, go ahead, prove it to me. Lip service is of no use or value. Prove it to me with your actions and acheivements then I will accept the fact graciously. Maybe then I'll see you as a worthy opponent. And maybe then you'll finally gain my respect. But my good opinion once gone will never come back again. Yes, I am that dificult, so sue me for it. Besides, I earned the right to be difficult. I did not go around flirting with every single guy within a 50 m radius, and I did not stick my toes into businesses that does not concern me. Nor do I backstab people, put up a fake front, or be as much as a poseur like you.

In short, I am way better than you and you can't stand it, that's why you're trying so hard to shoutout to the world, to convince everybody that you are much more capable than I am, and you deserve to have more than I have. Somebody please give this girl an Oscar, but no, my dear, you are not fooling anybody and just let me remind you gently that you are making an utter fool of yourself by doing so. Please stop it to save whatever shred of dignity you have left, and to prevent my fiercely loyal friends from ripping you apart limb by limb.

Thank you for your kind attention, and oh, about me not saying the name out loud, well, it's not more of an act of cowardice but rather, to protect the person in question because my faithful fans will not rest till they see that this unpleasant eyesore is dead and well, being the naturally sweet person that I am, I don't want her to be scarred for life you know? And no way do I want to be responsible for this person's life if this person chose to commit suicide or something.

Thnks fr th mmrs

2007-05-16T05:25:00.000-07:00

HOLY CRAP!!!!!! I FAILED MY MATHS MISERABLY!!!!

And no, I have not told my parents about my results yet. And erh...yeah, I know I got an A1 for my science but I'm not telling them that either. Social Studies was ok, but maths is the shit.

I'll just let my dad find out for himself on meet-the-parents day.

And erh, yeah. I changed blog.

2007-05-08T06:36:00.000-07:00

Wow. Blogger is damn screwed